I’ve heard it countless times – I’m sure you have too. Someone thinks they can make another person’s life better, and then they endlessly try to make that person happy! Well, I’m here to say that you should stop trying so hard to make others happy. After all, there is only so much time you have in a day, and you can’t spend it obsessing over other people. I understand the desire to make people happy, or help them improve their lives, but there is a limit to what any individual can handle.
The Culture Of Trying Too Hard
These days, a lot of people put too much effort into things that don’t truly matter. Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s important to work hard, and it’s important to work consistently towards your goals. It’s also fine to incorporate other people into those goals or try to help them out so they can find their own success. However, there is a culture of trying too hard these days.
This stems from several things. For example, many people support creating a side hustle, but they push it to the point where they’re not able to handle it. Likewise, you should avoid pushing yourself too hard, even if it is for a good cause like helping others. There is a limit to everything you can handle, so make sure you find the right balance.
Their Happiness Is Not Your Responsibility
Beyond just stretching yourself too thin, you should know that it’s not even your responsibility to take care of everyone else’s emotional needs! Your own happiness is your responsibility, and you should do what you need to in order to meet your own needs. The happiness of others, however, is not your responsibility and you should not be penalized for it either. You have a limited amount of time and energy available, so it’s best spent on handling your issues first, before you focus on helping others.
It Backfires
Another thing to note is that constantly seeking to help others will ultimately backfire. You may miss opportunities in general, but you may also be forced to choose between helping one person and helping another – while still trying to balance everything you need on your end.
You Need To Prioritize Yourself
Furthermore, it’s not just enough to make ends meet or to help other people in other ways. First and foremost, you need to make yourself a priority. When push comes to shove, and your life is chaotic, you’re the one you will have to depend on the most to pick up the pieces.
You’ll End Up Miserable
Obviously, if you spend too much energy on other people, then you may end up feeling unfulfilled or miserable. Burning out is a real ordeal, and one that can be avoided by minimizing your workload coupled with the management of stress that other people tend to add into the situation. Remember, if you burn yourself out then you’ll likely set yourself back. If you learn to manage your own priorities, that can set you ahead. Obviously, we all want to help other people, but it’s also understandable to pursue your own interests and invest in other priorities.
Learn To Say No
Learning to say no – while being adamant about it – may be one of the most directly useful and beneficial tactics you have at your disposal. People will ask the world of you if you let them, so it’s important to ditch that notion and to focus on your own needs and priorities when you don’t have the luxury of helping others.
Respect Others, Care For Others, But Take Care Of Yourself Too
We all want to help other people, but there is a point we cannot cross – a limit where we’re no longer able to function or take care of our own basic needs. It’s one thing to toe that line, and another thing to cross it. Be wary of pushing yourself too hard, as I’ve said before and will say countless times in the future. We all want to help others, and that’s important to do, but you can’t discard your own priorities either!
Life Is A Balancing Act
At the end of the day, life is a bit of a balancing act. We can never have all the answers, and focusing too hard on any one thing can be a bit too much to handle for any individual. You need to strike the right balance between work and play, especially regarding things like making your friends happy as well as the pursuit of your life goals and everything you hold dear. Of course, sometimes you’ll be pushed harder than you’d like – but it can help with your long-term happiness if you’re able to strike a balance and stick to it.
Being Generous With Your Time Is Nice
One great way to leave a lasting legacy is to become more generous with your time. When you help others, you’ll be astounded at the rewards that brings (both in a legacy and in your own personal fulfillment). Being generous with your time can be hard, but it’s worth it. Start carving time into your schedule that you can use to make the world a better place. By building it into your schedule, that can help you avoid burning out and taking on too much.
Mentor Others
Mentorship seems to be dying off, which is a real shame. Mentorship is invaluable to help the next generation into adulthood and all the responsibilities that come with it. If you really want to make an impact that affects another individual directly, take someone under your wing and become a mentor.
Volunteer
At some point in your life you’ve probably done a bit of volunteer work. Perhaps it was for school – a club activity or something to put on your college applications. Maybe your parents forced you to. You might’ve even chosen to do it on your own. Either way, I hope you’ve had experience with volunteering before, and appreciate how rewarding it can be. Volunteering as an adult is one of the best and most enriching pastimes out there! The fact is that it’s rewarding and can leave a legacy where you’ve helped build up your community. Volunteering is just another worthwhile activity you should carefully incorporate into your schedule.
Conclusion
Hopefully this gave you some helpful tips for not pushing yourself too hard and avoiding the idea that it’s your responsibility to make others happy. If you have any thoughts or tips of your own, feel free to share them with all of us in the comments. I always love hearing what the Bitter to Richer community has to say!
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